I recently finished watching “AP Dhillon: First of a Kind” the Amazon Prime docu-series on the life story of this Indo-Canadian singer, rapper and record producer who is making waves in the music world for having gone from garage band to global stardom faster than most artists in recent times. I have been so mesmerized by his music in the past year that I listen to his music almost every day. I was very sad to have missed his appearance at the Lollapalooza India music festival in Mumbai earlier this year. So when my husband told me that a new documentary about his life had been released, I jumped at the first opportunity to devour the show.
I was not disappointed. The four-part series was a fascinating peak into AP’s journey from a village in Punjab to Canada and his subsequent rise as a Punjabi singer. What struck me most from his story portrayed in the documentary was AP’s self-belief as the foundation of his success and that’s what I want to talk about in this edition of the Ideas to Play With newsletter.
AP has a brand of unwavering self-belief. Record labels rejected his music because they couldn’t understand it. It didn’t fit neatly in any category. But he had unlimited love and passion for the music that he was making and enjoyed it so much that he persisted with producing the music he loved. Ultimately with his band he created songs that exploded in popularity on YouTube which then led to mega shows and that’s how his fame spread. Social media had a big role to play. That’s a gross simplification of AP’s story but it does highlight the importance of self-belief against odds which is not atypical to the journeys of striving artists. To be clear, self-belief wasn’t the only factor that led to his huge success, but it was a very big element.
I mentor many young men and women who are early and mid-careers. I am also mother to two teenage daughters. This gives me a lot of exposure to how younger people view themselves and their talents. The pattern that I see is self-sabotage because of limiting self-beliefs.
If you believe you can’t, you won’t. If you believe you can, you will.
Why is it that every individual does not have unshakeable confidence in their own abilities?
Childhood experiences play a part. You may have been labeled as an unathletic child when growing up. You’re just never able to shake off this label. It may have impacted you so much that you sub-consciously shun exercise for the rest of your life.
Fear of failure plays a part. You may be weighed down by the expectation that your family and friends have of you. That fear eats into your self-confidence and paralyses you.
Lack of self-worth. This is intimately tied to self-belief. You may not value yourself because you never truly felt valued for who you are and what your inherent talents are. You were always trying to be somebody others wanted you to be. This diminishes your self-worth while adversity impacting your self-belief.
Very often, when I am guiding someone on personal branding, it becomes a futile exercise. This is because they are trying to package something that is weak on the inside. You can’t have a strong personal brand if you don’t believe in yourself. So that’s where you must start. If you are already there, you can skip the rest of the newsletter.
What might be some ways in which you can overcome limiting self-beliefs? Are there things you can do before you seek help from a professional?
Here are all the things you should try to overcome your limiting self-belief.
Identify and acknowledge
Start by going inside. Spend time with yourself to understand what is holding you back from reaching your full potential. What negative beliefs do you have about your capabilities? Where might they have come from?
Challenge
Question these thoughts. Are they valid? Or are they just playing up in your mind as a reaction to things people may have told you.
Reframe
Try to reframe what you think. Perhaps you think you are a terrible student because you do poorly in STEM subjects. Reframe it to tell yourself there are subjects you love and subjects you don’t. You are a hardworking student who has ease with some subjects but needs to put in much more effort into others. Labelling yourself as a poor student is limiting to your outlook.
Collect evidence
When you look at things more calmly, is there evidence to challenge your self-limiting beliefs? Maybe you think you are not a runner but you can recall how you sprinted almost a kilometer to make your flight in time? Proof that you can move!
Set practical goals
Instead of thinking you are fat and have to lose 20 kgs, break that down into what you might have to do every day towards that goal. Perhaps it starts with just a little effort every day towards the healthy person you wish to be.
Visualize success
Vision boards are all the rage and they do work. When you can dream it, you know you can do it. Conjure up vividly what success looks like. Use photos, key words, whatever it takes to inspire and motivate you to reach your goals.
Be kind to yourself
Overcoming your self-beliefs won’t be an easy journey that happens in the snap of your fingers. It’s a journey of persistence and perseverance. You will fall off the path many times. Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge it’s part of the journey and keep going.
Get support.
It doesn’t have to be a lonely journey. Share your struggles with your family and friends. They can be a great encouragement.
Keep growing
Invest in up-skilling. Take come classes. Watch some videos. Learning gives you the positive boost you need.
Practice positive affirmations
While this sounds hokey, and I have struggled with putting positive affirmations to practice, it does work from my own experience. I am on a journey of health and wellness but there are many days on which I fall off the wagon. I must keep reminding myself (despite the junk I have indulged in!) that I am a healthy and fit person who does right for her body every day. And believe me this positive affirmation quickly snaps me back on track.
Journaling
It’s a good idea to document your journey in a journal. It helps to go back and understand yourself and your actions better.
Seek professional help
If you’ve tried all of these things and they haven’t help, it could be time to meet a professional.
Over to you now:
Are there areas in your life where you aren’t reaching your full potential
What self-beliefs are preventing your progress?_
Would you benefit from trying a few or many of these strategies to over limiting self-beliefs?
"Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude."
-MICHELLE OBAMA